Just Listen

When I ask you to listen to me,
And you start giving me advice,
You have not done what I asked.

When I ask that you listen to me,
And you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
You are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me,
And you feel you have to do something to solve my problems,
You have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen.
All that I ask is that you listen,
Not talk or do - just hear me.

When you do something for me
That I need to do for myself,
You contribute to my fear and feelings of inadequacy.

But when you accept as a simple fact
That I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational,
Then I can quit trying to convince you
And go about the business
Of understanding what's behind my feelings.

So, please listen and just hear me
And, if you want to talk,
Wait a minute for your turn - and I'll listen to you.

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What I've learned, as of now

1. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
2. I've learned that no matter how much I care some people just don't care back.
3. I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
5. I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but whom you have in your life that counts.
6. I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
7. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
8. I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
9. I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
10. I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
11. I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
12. I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
13. I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
14. I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And, just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
15. I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
16. I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt, and you will hurt in the process.
17. I've learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
18. I've learned that heroes are people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
19. I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you can’t.

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